Beginning with the birth of our third daughter, Madeline, back in July, our lives have been a whirlwind. I'm used to the fast paced life that comes with children, working full-time & keeping up with the youth minister schedule. But, when Jesse took his job as a religious education coordinator shortly after Maddie was born, this pace seemed to kick into high gear. One of the main reasons for this was because the job required much more time & energy, along with the many meetings, events & sacraments to prepare for. When I wrote out the craziness of each month on our refrigerator white board, Jesse & I would remind ourselves, "We just have to get to May 6th." For on that date was the last major event of the year...confirmation. Then, after that, we knew the pace would slow & we could spend significantly more time together.
May 6th has come & gone. And in reality, our hopes shouldn't have hinged on that date since it has taken a few weeks for things to start to slow down. Regardless, we are now weeks past that date & the pace has slowed, if only a little bit. As much as I would like to say we've rekindled our romance, spent evenings engaged in deep conversation or something like that, I can't. As a matter of fact, things have been really difficult for us since our time together has increased.
I feel like we've spent the past 5+ years learning how to be apart, developing our own routines & nuances. And now that our time overlaps, we are stumbling all over each other. When asked if we would recognize each other now that we have more time together, I jokingly told someone that, "Most couples have difficulties because they drift apart. We'll be the ones with issues because we're too close." But really, there is a lot of truth in that statement. We are certainly having trouble coping.
So I've been praying a lot & finding comfort in the little things. When Jesse had been a youth minister for a year or two, I came upon the song, Lead Me by Sanctus Real. I find myself coming back to this time and again when we hit a difficult patch. I encourage all couples, especially those with long hours away from each other, to listen to this & find encouragement & strength in the lyrics.
"Show me you're willing to fight. That I'm still the love of your life. I know we call this our home, but I still feel alone."